


Into A Nightmare

by moderatelypanickedbiromantic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Completed, Drabble, F/M, Female Reader, Marriage, Nightmare, One Shot, SPN - Freeform, Wedding, argument, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 18:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18168473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moderatelypanickedbiromantic/pseuds/moderatelypanickedbiromantic
Summary: Dean dreams about marrying you, and after he wakes up he breaks down remembering the fight you both had before you broke up with him.





	Into A Nightmare

My breath caught in my throat as I watched her walk towards me. I never thought I would get this. I never thought I’d get to see the love of my life make her way down the aisle towards me. Her pace down the aisle was rushed, just like everything else had been, and her eyes never left mine. She wasn’t wearing the traditional white gown, hell she wasn’t even wearing a wedding dress. Just something she had found in the back of her closet. I think she mentioned wearing it to her senior prom. But it didn’t matter. She could be wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and she would be the most beautiful woman on this entire planet.

Her cheeks were flushed as she found her place beside me, and I took her hand. The officiant cleared his throat and began. “We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, and to cherish the words which shall unite Y/N and Dean Winchester in marriage.”

“Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, and who trust in that love, who honour each other as individuals, and who choose to spend the rest of their lives together. This ceremony will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you. It is a symbol of how far you both have come over the years. It is a symbol of the promises you will make to each other to continue growing stronger as individuals and as partners. No matter the challenges you will face, you will face them together. Your successes and failures, you will live through them together. The love between you, joins you now as one.” He indicates for us to begin our vows and Sam passes me the simple golden band I had picked out last night.

It wasn’t much at all, it didn’t even have a diamond, and I know she deserves better…. but it would do for now. “I’m not the best with words but, I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for…. god-I …. I don’t even know how long. I didn’t-I didn't just wake up one day loving you. It happened slowly, and I… it took time. You were so fiery and aggravating when we first met, you still are,” her lips tilted up in a smile, “but it’s one of the things I love most about you. You’re passionate, and determined. But most importantly you’re strong, you’re so strong Y/N. And I know you could have picked anyone else, and-and they probably would’ve deserved you so much more than I do but I am so grateful you chose me. After everything…. I promise, Y/N, that I will become a man deserving of you. I will cherish and love you every day for the rest of our lives. And I promise to kill all of the spiders.” We both laughed at that.

Even though tears were streaming down her face i could tell she was happy. Her eyes sparkled in that way they always do when she’s so happy that she can’t help but to cry. 

I aligned the ring with her finger. “With this ring I thee wed.” She beamed when I slipped it onto her finger. Everything about this ceremony was rushed. Nothing was planned or thought out, but still somehow it was perfect. She was here.

“Dean, I…I didn’t fall into love with you. I walked with my eyes wide open, every step of the way. Our choices define our destiny, and I know that I’d choose you. in a hundred different lifetimes… In a hundred different worlds, and in any version of reality I would find you and I would choose you. I choose you Dean Winchester, and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I love you. And I promise to stand by your side for eternity. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or a partner in crime, you have me. You will always have me.” She had stopped crying by the time she finished, and with a final sniffle she slid the ring Cas handed her on my finger. 

“With this ring… I thee wed.”

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

—

With a gasp I shot out of bed. My head was a mess and I wasn’t completely sure why my heart was racing.

Slowly, my thoughts oriented themselves and i was able to piece together the dream that had woken me up. She had been standing there looking up at me with a tear-streaked face. A black-lace dress. Rings….

It was a wedding. I had dreamed of a wedding….

I held my head in my hands as I remembered everything we had said to each other that night. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was hers. It didn’t matter. She was gone. And I… I had let her go…

—

“I can’t take this anymore Dean,” she shouted, and threw her hands in the air. “I’m not some-some weak …. child that has to be coddled! I don’t need you to coddle me, or protect me.”

“You know my feelings on the matter…” I sighed keeping my voice level, calm. Yelling wasn’t going to help diffuse the situation. It was the same argument we’d been having for months. She wanted to hunt and I couldn’t let her. “Last time you nearly got yourself killed. I nearly lost you.” My voice broke and I looked away from her.

“That doesn’t matter… I— You’re gone all the time. Traveling across the country, going from town to town saving people. And you leave me here. Because you’re scared. Because you don’t think I can handle myself out there. I am scared to death everytime you go out there. Afraid that maybe you won’t come back. And I have lost you, over and over. You’ve left me. Maybe not by choice but you have. And I’ve had to deal with that for years Dean. Years. But I have never once even attempted to stop you from going out there. I have never once tried to stop you from saving people Dean. Hunting, Dean, is a part of you and I have never tried to take that away from you. And I never will… but I can’t continue to be pushed to the sidelines where you think I’ll be safe. That’s not how I want to live my life.”

“You’re not going out there.” We both had been going back and forth like this for Chuck only knows how long. And I thought we would continue on like this until she budged, until she saw reason. But she just quietly nodded her head, and looked toward the door.

“I’m sorry Dean, I love you but I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. And a second later she was gone.

—

Just like that. Gone. I hadn’t gone after her. I hadn’t done anything. I just stood there, as this weight settled over me realizing what had happened.

I rammed my fist against the wall, and downed the whiskey I had poured moments prior. Guilt ate at me, but mostly I just felt …. numb. I lost her. And I only had myself to blame. Leaning against the wall I slid down to the floor taking the bottle of whiskey with me.

Pain danced across my skull as I thumped my head against the wall. I’m not even sure when I started crying but my shoulders racked with sobs as I tried to intake air.

She was gone.

She was gone and there was nothing I could do.

If I could go back to that night there are so many things I’d do differently. But none of that mattered because I had lost her, and nothing could change that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


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